Writing Your Wedding Vows Separately

If you are writing your vows individually try the following:

1. Get together with your fiancé and first discuss general rules for your vows. For example, about how long they should be (ex. 5 sentences), that they should use the words "I love you" or "You are my best friend", etc. in them. You don't want one of you to write a book of vows while the other just says a few simple things, so make sure to discuss this beforehand.
2. When you get the chance to be alone, reminisce about how you met, what you felt when you realized you were in love, and how you felt when you decided to get married. Write down descriptive words for these feelings. For example "love", "forever", "journey", etc.
3. Think about your relationship. Has there been a theme to your relationship, a favorite song, words you enjoy saying to one another? Write these down.
4. Review how traditional vows are said.
   
   For example:
   
   
   • "In the name of God, I, Name take you, Name to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow."



5. Now think about how you can bring these things together. Think about what you like about the traditional vows and what you don't like. For the parts you don't like, how could you change them to your own words, to make them better?
6. Start writing your vows!
7. If you are still having trouble, try using our Vow Writing Worksheet and apply it to each of your individually. Do not practice your vows together unless you don't mind that they won't be a surprise.
8. Once you have written your vows, you will most likely want to talk with your Officiant about them. S/he may want to approve them and/or offer you some more suggestions.
9. As a side note: After your wedding, if your vows were especially meaningful to you, type both of them up, print them on nice paper, and frame them to hang in your house. This way, you will never forget them and you will always be reminded of how special and sacred they are to your marriage.

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